At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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