life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize