One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize