it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
