The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
