Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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