hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
