I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
