last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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