We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
