either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
