Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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