I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize