Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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