I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
