just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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