I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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