he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
