Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
