so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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