You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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