I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
