You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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