You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
