the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
