She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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