that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Threesome in a minivan. New low
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
