No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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