And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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