The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I wish there were birth control emojis
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
