She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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