ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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