your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
