wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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