Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
