dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
