I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize