It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
