i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
