OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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