thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
