Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize