As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
