How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
