u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
