He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
