She is in my trunk
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I think im going to throw up on grandma
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
