I'm so fucking centered right now
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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