Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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