i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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