Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
