do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
