i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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