I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
