Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
