I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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