is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
well, you know. whores of a feather.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
