Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
