nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
